I’ve got a confession: there’s a spider web above my bed.
As I was driving to work this morning, I was quickly reminded that my fingertip was hurting. I remember waking in the middle of the night and noticing that my finger was throbbing. Somewhere in the haze of being only half-conscious, if that, I made notice of the pain and fell back to sleep forgetting it completely.
But, I remembered the pain as I was driving down the road. Likely paying far too much attention to my finger and not enough attention to the road and cars around me, I found myself aggravated about my finger. I poked at it, pushed on it, felt around – each time noticing the pain getting worse. I remember thinking, “I must have been bitten by a spider in the middle of the night.” That thought led me to being quite a bit more annoyed; the thought of being bitten by a spider, on my fingertip of all places, aggravated me even more.
I haven’t even seen any spiders in my house. I’ve seen none crawling on the walls, none around my bed. Where the hell would this spider have come from anyhow? And then I remembered the spider web above my bed.
Now, yes, I know this is odd. I know it’s not normal to keep a spider web in the corner of the wall above your bed. The reason why it’s still there eludes me. I’m sure it includes mostly laziness, but also, I’ve not seen any spiders and as long as they’re not bothering me, why bother them? What could having the spider web up there hurt? (Besides my finger…)
I’ve been on a connection-making frenzy lately.
It was then that I quickly made a connection; I made one last night, too, when we were at our ACIMstudy group. What does that spider web signify? What does it represent?
How often do I find myself in an uncomfortable situation or get upset at the result of some circumstance around me? How often do I choose to ignore and avoid something, just to later be annoyed at the outcome of what I chose to ignore and avoid?
The longer I leave that spider web up above my bed, the greater the chance I will keep getting bitten by this spider. And as long as I know the spider web is there, I cannot conceivably get annoyed at this occurrence when it does happen, because I allowed it to happen in the first place. If I don’t want to get bitten, I need to clear out the webs. This is life. This is the direct connection between the circumstances I refuse to change and the outcome I’ll always get.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein
It’s kind of like that. I cannot continue to trudge through the webs of life, making no conscious effort to clear them, and expect something different, expect things to improve, expect a change in anything – much less expect to not get bitten by a spider knowing it lives five feet above me.
On to clearing the webs – not only in the corner above my bed, but in life. Clearing the webs of habit that’s served me with nothing but disappointment and less than the best. Not avoiding, not being lazy, not refusing to change my circumstances so that I can experience all the good that there is for me to experience. I’m consciously choosing to clear out all the spider webs to keep from being bitten again.