Perfection. The word itself falls far short of the way everything is unfolding. The word itself is far too pathetic to describe how I feel, the happiness I’m experiencing. There are no words that can even come close to describing the state I’m in.
The next experiment proposed in E-squared is called the ‘Volkswagen Jetta Principle”. The theory of the experiment as described by the author is “You impact the field and draw from it according to your beliefs and expectations.” It is a 48 hour experiment, just as the first. It is broken down into 24 hour segments – the first 24 hours we are to notice sunset-beige vehicles and the second 24 hours we are to notice butterflies. I struggled with this experiment at first. I had to Google what the heck color sunset-beige was and then with the butterfly segment I was thinking, “I never see butterflies here. How is this going to happen?” (I live in the desert Southwest and I think I’ve only seen a handful of butterflies the entire almost ten years I’ve lived here.)
I need to remember that it’s not always going to look how I think it should.
The amount and frequency of the sunset-beige (gold…) cars I saw from Thursday night to Friday night increased as the end of the first 24 hours came near. By the time I was almost home for the night, they were everywhere! In one small parking lot alone, I saw three of them “clumped together” and then another parked a couple spaces down. I could count five or six near me at any given time as I was driving down the street and then in the parking lot on the corner of the street I turn down to get home, literally every other space had a sunset-beige car parked in it.
Okay. I was happy. God did good. I saw sunset-beige cars. Now what about these butterflies? Nevermind the fact that I’m going to be locked in my office at work for eight hours during the day – how will I even have the chance to see butterflies (especially when I never see them in the first place)?
So now what? When I awoke this morning with doubt, I chose again and decided to reinforce this intention of seeing butterflies. I got onto the Google Images website and decided to look for a picture of a butterfly that I could post on Facebook – perhaps I could give a little nod to God indicating, “Yes. I want to see butterflies.”
I was running out of time. I had to be at work two hours prior. I spent far too long (15-20 minutes) just trying to pick out a picture of a butterfly. Either I didn’t like the color or I didn’t like the composition. I wasn’t happy with any butterfly picture I saw. I couldn’t find one that would be good enough for the intention I was putting out there, of the intention of seeing these butterflies. After searching far too long and wasting far too much time, I finally chose one. I put it on Facebook and decided to finally get ready for work and go about my day that would be filled with all these butterflies.
A bit later, after I was ready to depart my home for the day, I decided to check Facebook for any other notifications or messages (I had been talking to my close friend for much of the morning). I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed when I came across a picture of a butterfly – the same exact picture of a butterfly that was posted by CSLGD. Only theirs had a little quote. “It’s not too late to be what you might have been.” by George Eliot.
I almost cried. I howled and hollered with with excitement – I laughed uncontrollably. It was perfect. It was my sign.
Much of the depression I experienced up until a few months ago was centered around guilt, filled with regret at all the opportunities I’ve let pass me by. I’ve made choices, suffered consequences and carried with me the notion that I’ve let all-I -could-have-been consume me and taunt me with all-I’ll-never-be. Even the quote on my butterfly picture was perfect. (I do have to add that as I stepped out for a few minutes from work just long enough to go through the drive-thru for lunch, I saw three more butterflies. God is perfect.)
As I was dozing off and starting to fall asleep last night, I awoke from a mini-dream in which a kitten jumped out of the kitchen sink and was playing on the countertop in the new home I will be buying. I looked up the potential meaning of having a kitten in your dreams and found the following:
“To see a kitten in your dream represents a transitional phase toward independence. You are ready to experience new things that life has to offer.”
Knowing that my house-buying event is getting closer, I’ve recently started becoming overwhelmed with the details of my budget, the expenses I will have and will have as this process progresses. I was instructed to open two lines of secured credit but couldn’t figure out how I would be able to pull the extra funds together to enable me to do this. I’ve known the past couple weeks that I’ve pretty much hit the deadline for opening the accounts if its going to help me in time to get my house. I’ve been doing all I could to not revert to shut-down mode and discard the whole prospect of buying the house.
And again, I have to remind myself that it’s not up to me or any of my business of how things happen – I just need to know they are going to happen. Yesterday, the money for these two accounts presented itself, quite unexpectedly and perfectly. There is no order of difficulty for God. It is all so very, very perfect.
Continue the surrender, continue letting go. Continue refraining from being caught up in the details and just let it be. Continue setting the intention and let the Universe do it’s job.
I give thanks for the Perfection that is my life. I give thanks for the knowingness that my opportunities have not passed me by – they are just now starting to unfold themselves to me. I am grateful for the signs I get that remind me I am never alone and that I am loved.