The fact is well-know that I am proud to have made it to 2015 after being a survivor for six years. The years after my recovery have been nothing short of an emotional and mental roller coaster – highs, lows and everything in between. I was sure that life had ended, but I realize now, it had only just begun.
I was given a second chance. Once I realized that, I realized that life is beautiful. I likely spent too much time wallowing in self-pity and shame. I spent far too much time filled with the hate of any and every circumstance that’s created my life. I spent far too much time, tucked away and secluded, trying to avoid anything and everything.
I’m done with that. The past year, in 2014, I became antsy. I knew that I wanted more, needed more, deserved more.
I felt an overwhelming pull to step into the grander version of myself.
I started to value love over judgment. I started to value peace over anger. I started to value myself and life. It’s been a rough road, but only because I’ve made it so. For anyone that knows me, there is no doubt what I want and who I want to be. Being those things starts now.
Sitting here this morning, I realized that I can continue striving for that identity that I long for, or I can simply claim it. I can continue the year of 2015 just as I did in 2014 and write about how I want to be a writer (ironic, don’t you think), or I can simply claim the fact that I am a writer. I can go around saying I really want to work on my photography business, or I can simply do it. I can whine about how I want to be an artist, or I can make art. I can spend the entire year of 2015 wanting it and trying to figure it all out or I can just achieve all of it.
I have a bad habit of making things more difficult that they really need to be. I have an even worse habit of talking everything to death (sorry, Nancy) and whining about how I want it, but never go and claim it. It’s all right here for the claiming and I’m claiming it. I’ll spend no more days and nights in bed avoiding everything out of fear.
This is the year for achieving dreams.
I am a writer. I am a photographer. I am an artist. I am creative. I am love. I am peace. Right now, starting right this very minute.